Madame Syphilis's Dating Service

Hello, you sad loser who can’t get a partner the normal way. Luckily there’s a way to help you loners who obviously don’t have any proper friends. I mean, that’s the way normal people meet other people isn’t it, through friends. But you obviously don’t have any, do you?

Anyway, circle the answers most appropriate to the following questions so we can add your physical features do our database to help match you up with one of our other outcasts from society, I mean err, clients. Please answer the following questions and either click on the Submit button, or email them to me, Lovely Madame Syphilis

1) In what age range are you?
18 - 100
100+

2) What build are you?
Small
Massive

3) How tall are you?
2 - 9 ft
9ft +

4) Are you:
Drop Dead Gorgeous
As Ugly as the Elephant Man

Now we would like you to answer a few more essential questions about your personality and other factors that will help match you to a partner.

5) Are you:
Very, very Kind
Mean Bast*rd

6) The collision about to occur between A and B is perfectly elastic. What is the final velocity of object B if the final velocity of A is 2ms-1 to the right?

Final Velocity

7) What do you prefer:
Hamsters
Chimpanzees

8) How is the life of the inuits affected by the Alaskan oil pipeline?

They are affected by

9) If you were to compare yourself to a household object would it be a:
Anglepoise Lamp
Ironing Board
A Sandwich Toaster

10) Without using a calculator, what is the cube root of 68475489393?

The cube root is

Now put this sheet in the envelope provided with the address form you have filled out. Post it to us and we will post back the next form so you can choose what you would like to look for in a partner (or just click on the 'Submit' button). You obviously won’t be looking for a normal person because they don’t have to use dating services to get partners.

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Good luck, You definitely need it.



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