Baby Doris
New dolls name: My sweet lovely, beautiful, loving, caring, sharing doll (maybe shorten name to Baby Doris for benefit of advertising campaign)
Main Elements of advert to be considered when making:
Factor 1: Time to be shown.
Show on any channel while children’s programs are on especially cartoon channels. Show this advert until it drives the viewers mad.
Factor 2: Actors
Make sure we have 1 young blonde girl with frizzy hair, preferably with front teeth missing to hold the doll. She must not be able to speak English so we can dub her over. The person doing the dub over must not be able to sing, (although we will want her to sing the main theme tune with some other backing singers)
Factor 3: Appearance of doll
Doll must supposedly be life like according to our claims although at the same time also be hideously ugly and appear to act strangely.
Factor 4: The adverts theme tune
Text in blue is for the girl in the ad, text in green is for the backing singers, and text in orange is both
Oh look at lovely Baby Doris
Oh wow isn’t she wonderful
She’s so lovely I can’t believe it
Oh look she moves when she sh*ts herself
Oh look at Doris she can open her eyes
Such a lovely, lovely baby
Baby Doris – she sits about
All day long, she’s a little dear
She does stuff and moves about a bit
And then makes some strange noises
Look at her open her eyes
Then close them again, oh how exciting
Doris Baby!
How fabulously wonderful
Doris Baby!
How wonderfully expensive
Oh yes very, very expensive
Final notes:
Remember to show what the doll can do, but not for long enough for viewers to actually realise how shit the thing really is.
This advert must be shown at the same time as 10 other doll adverts so at the end of the advert break the TV is thrown out of the window or ears are damaged by the awful theme tune.
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